“I’m exhausted by spending so much of my daily energy stressing about my body.”
“I’m overwhelmed by tracking food and calculating calories/carbs/fiber/fat.”
“I’ve tried everything and failed. I just need more self control and to stop eating bad food.”
“At the end of each day, I feel like I’ve got nothing left, and all I can manage is to go home, put on netflix, and eat whatever is in the fridge.”
“I just want a break…and some relief.”
At the beginning of June, I invited women to book a “Break Free from Body Shame” session with me where we’d chat about what’s going on with them, how they’re feeling about their body, and to make some recommendations that will help them right away.
I’ve had so many beautiful conversations with women…heartbreaking conversations…vulnerable
Women are tired of trying to win a battle when they know the war is already lost if they’re not size 0-2, cellulite-free, hairless, always fashionable, able to apply eyeliner perfectly, and with a face that would launch a thousand ships with it’s “natural” beauty. Being the perfect mom, wife, girlfriend, lover, boss, employee. And doing it all while keeping a perfect house and cooking gourmet, homemade meals. Oh, and don’t forget to post to IG and FB and read the latest book club selection.
This is insanity. This is all about the external. This is all about being attached to what others think of us and judging ourselves harshly when we feel we’re not perfect enough.
Those quotes at the top are what women have shared with me…a longing for release…wanting to find a better way to live…trusting that I can help them reach fulfillment and happiness and peace.
For women living in larger bodies, there’s the added pressure of “losing weight”. Women of all sizes and shapes struggle with how they feel about their bodies, and women who view themselves as “overweight” keenly feel deep body shame that keeps them living small.
It’s such a paradox:
The bigger we are, the smaller we try to be.
The more visible we are, the more invisible we feel.
I did this dance for decades, and I’m calling bullshit. I’ve never been more visible, happy, and loved than I am now. I’ve never been more ME than I am now.
My story is complex, just like yours. I wanted to be the best at everything because that’s how I was raised and how I’m wired. When my body betrayed me by growing too big, I felt like a failure and that there was something horribly wrong with me. I tried to numb the shame with food and sex, and when that didn’t work, realized that I needed help. Real help- not the diet stuff I’d been doing. Because it wasn’t about food, it never was. It was about feeling worthy and enough just as I am, no matter what that looks like on the outside. I’m still on my own journey, and I always will be because everything I learn deepens my connection to myself, to others, and to my sense of wholeness with something greater than myself.
This is the other paradox:
The way to complete control is to completely surrender.
When you stop restricting your body, the more abundantly you will love and care for your body
What I know for sure is that body shame exists to point us towards the inside work we need to do around our worthiness. We can use this body shame like a compass that guides us to the source of our pain- the source of where healing needs to happen.
Or we can keep trying to numb it with food, sex, alcohol, drugs, netflix…but as Brene Brown says, we cannot selectively numb our emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones.
So, if you’re feeling like you want to stop being numb, learn how to break free from body shame, and discover how to create a life that lights you up and has you feeling happier than you’ve been in decades, then let’s chat.
My goal was to have 25 of these conversations by the end of June, and I’m getting close. It’s an honour to hear someone’s story and to participate in their breakthroughs, and I hope I get to be part of yours too.
P.S.- Doing a boudoir photo shoot with the talented Crave Boudoir was a HUGE stepping stone on my journey to body confidence.
I took them without feeling like I had to lose weight first.
I took them without feeling like I had to hide parts of my body.
I took them and have never felt more beautiful, sassy, and sexy.
That’s why I’m including a pic here…imagine what you’ll feel pulled to do when you’re feeling like YOUR most confident self…
Want to find out?